Dalton McGuinty's Broken Record

After much review, the editorial board at the Daily Dyson has decided to award our "YouTube Video of the Week" to the just released video entitled "Dalton McGuinty's Broken Record"

Stay tuned for more exclusive pre-releases of upcoming Ontario Election videos.

Next up - a classic entitled "Dalton McGuinty Tells The Truth".


Editor's Note - the above mentioned video does not exist. Footage relating to the subject matter could not be obtained. Anywhere.

Random Thinking?

If one links to another's random thoughts, is it still random?

Or does the double negative give order to the random post about random thoughts?

The Springfield Monorail!

As if the Liberal platform wasn't CAARRRAAAAZZZZYYYYY enough, it appears one of their star candidates in Niagara West Glanbrook has decided to lift his latest policy proposal directly from the Simpsons.

Control Yourself On The Ski Hills

Just Relaxing...

Dalton's New Website

Dalton McGuinty.

Maybe not in his own words...

Government At Work

Be Careful On The Ice!

Dude PIZZA!

Don't switch out a man's pizza!

Enjoy Moosehead? Stock Up.

Looks like there is going to be a shortage of Moosehead in Southern Ontario in the near future, as two trucks carrying over 100,000 bottles of cool refreshing nectar were stolen in Mississauga.

Police say they are on the lookout for two seriously wasted individuals. They are advising Moosehead drinkers to check their beers to ensure they are not consuming beers that are missing serial numbers.

Quote of the day -

"We can't believe that of all the beer available in Canada that Moosehead would be targeted again," - Moosehead spokesman John Levesque.

The editors at the Daily Dyson can believe it. Not that there are any media experts on staff here, but why would you provide that as a quote? Are you kidding? Moosehead should be proud that their sweet, tasty, brew would be targetted for theft.

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In a related story, John Tory has released his latest proposal in the Ontario election, and it's a good one. Tory is proposing to put in place a pilot project to sell alcohol in corner stores (Ontario made only).

You can already buy other 19+ products at your local Mac's like cigarettes, so why not include alcohol? Makes perfect sense.

Naming Your Child

Sadly, this same story has been reported on before, only with different names...

An Indiana couple, with the last name of Fields, have named their son Wrigley. Giving him the unfortunate (outside of Chicago) name of Wrigley Fields.

Great way to start off the kid's life. Like he's not going to have enough trouble at school.

Guaranteed this Wrigley kid will be no Dr Phil, or some offshoot of it, by the time he's 12.

The Lone Ranger

Why would you vote for the Lone Ranger for Premier?

Because he has THE COOLEST NAME EVER!

And The Videos Keep Coming...

YouTube Gold!

The Mcguinty Dance Part 1 and 2...

Great New Election Ads

The Daily Dyson has managed to secure copies of the new Ontario PC Party election commercials.

Great ads. The editorial board really enjoys the "Not Worth The Paper It's Written On" piece.

Best Air Conditioning Service In Town

God Responds To Lawsuit

Leave it to the crack team of investigative reporters at the Daily Dyson to uncover this one.

In a follow up to a previous story on God being sued, it appears that the defendant in the lawsuit filed by a Nebraska State Senator has filed his defence.

God responded to the lawsuit by filing the following statement: "Defendant denies that this or any court has jurisdiction ... over Him any more than the court has jurisdiction over the wind or rain, sunlight or darkness,"

God has now been ordered to appear before the court to defend himself.

Sta tuned...

Ride the SLUT to work everyday...

If you live in Seattle (and thousands of the DD's readers do live there) and find yourself needing an alternate way of getting to work, why not try riding the South Lake Union Trolley?

Once you've taken your inaugural ride on the South Lake Union Trolley, as you exit the vehicle, make sure you exclaim "Been there, done that. Now where's my T-Shirt?"

Richard Branson vs Stephen Colbert

The infamous Colbert/Branson trainwreck...

Deciphering The Law

A State Senator in Nebraska has filed a lawsuit against God.

God is counter suing.

Vegas is giving 2:1 odds that God will win.

Stay tuned.

To all those media monitors out there...

John Tory. Dalton McGuinty. Howard Hampton.


OH SNAP!

YOU FELL FOR THAT ONE!

That will teach you to monitor this den of Interweb happeningzzzzz!

But Did He Win?

A 30 year old Chinese man died after an online gaming binge lasting 3 days.

Weak.

A Real Asshole

Apologies to all of those underage readers out there. But the world needs to know about this asshole.

John Tory Is The Story

The editorial board would like to clear something up from the last post regarding the 2007 Ontario Provincial Election.

After much deliberation, discussion, and debate, the editorial board at the Daily Dyson has decided to endorse John Tory, leader of the Ontario PC Party.

AND

After thirty seconds of post-Seinfeld discussion, the editorial board has decided that Dalton McGuinty will not be receiving the coveted editorial board endorsement.

Ever.

Not kidding.

We are not making this up.

We cannot make this stuff up.

Mid September Predictions

The Leafs will make the playoffs. Ottawa will continue their consistent post-season choking tradition.

John Tory will beat Dalton McGuinty in the October 10 election. McGuinty will cry. Alot.

Russia will have more babies.

Monkeys and birds will learn to love each other.

28 Day Slater

Is he Mario Lopez or AC Slater?

What happens when one man cannot escape Saved By The Bell?

Life Lesson #429

Never Rob A Karate Academy.

A man in Columbia was taken down by a group of karate students after he tried to rob their training academy the other day.

He had a gun. They had roundhouse kicks.

Bob Dylan Speaks!

In honour of all things that are great, but mainly just Bob Dylan, the Daily Dyson has obtained access to a cool new toy.

Many thanks to our friends over at Sony BMG, who are always looking out for those Dylan fans out there.

Enjoy!

CLICK HERE

When Your Day Is Not Going Well...

Grab a beer from your handy office beer fridge...

Just follow the instructions on the link above and turn those Dunder Mifflin paper boxes into the perfect cover for you beer fridge.

Behind Every Great Trick

Oh Viagra, is there anything that you cannot do?

Anyone Can Be A Ninja

Because you don't need to wear black pyjamas and be a master of the martial arts to be a ninja...

Become Invisible For Only $24.95!

Who says you can't buy everything on EBay?

The Team Is Growing.

This latest post is the product of some recent investments at the Daily Dyson that are starting to come to fruition.

Please join the entire editorial board in welcoming AH to our team. AH brings with him years of journalistic and zookeeping experience. Welcome AH.

Now on to the first report from our newest contributor.

Please enjoy the video below. Please laugh so the feelings of the New Guy aren't hurt.

Don't Call The Cops If...

...your quarter pound stash of marijuana has been stolen.

Chalk this one up as Life Lesson #423.

So I'm At The Zoo...

And there are some meerkats taking pictures of other meerkats.





Nice photography work.


Editor's note: some of these meerkat pictures have been removed as they have been deemed unsuitable for public viewing by the Interweb censors. Something about decency standards...

How To Start A Revolution - Part 4

A strand of Che Guerva's hair is being auctioned off by a man who supposedly killed and buried the famed guerilla fighter in 1967. It is being auctioned off as part of a package of items that were used to hunt down someone who has become somewhat of a cultural icon since his death.

Let's just hope the successful buyer doesn't throw this up on a T-Shirt.

And please don't click on any Che Guerva ads that may appear along the side, you will only be helping the freedom fighters fund their revolution.

A Young Looking 65

A 65 year old was recently carded in Maine, and subsequently denied the ability to purchase alcohol.


Did she look 55 or something?

Sweet Irony

If only the father of communism could see this. If you blink, you might miss the revolution starting in the WalMart parking lot!

Girdles For Men?

A Japanese company is now marketing girdles for men.

Apparently the beer belly look is not en vogue anymore.

A Moment In Time...

Roy Rulez!

Roy Rulez!

Dead Air on Sirius

The Grateful Dead now have their very own station on Sirius Satellite Radio. For those of you that own one of those absoloutely amazing entertainment devices called a Satellite Radio, the station is 32.

What other bands have their own stations on Sirius? What kind company are the Dead joining by launching their own channel?

Ever heard of Elvis Presley?

How about the Rolling Stones?

New Simpsons Episode

Check out the Simpsons this Sunday night for an episode with special guest host Dalton McGuinty titled "The Liar from Springfield."

See the clip below for a preview, or the link here.