Halloween Costumes...

You would think that parents would exercise some judgment when dressing up their kids for Halloween.

Field Trip!

The Editorial Board at the Daily Dyson will be filing some live stories from the World Toilet Summit in Delhi, India.

Check back for all of the latest updates.

When Leaving A Parking Garage...

Don't do this.

Ninjas On Parade

The 30th Annual Ninja Parade was held recently in Modesto, CA.

As with the past 30 parades, the ninjas were not detected by the city's residents. Check out the news clip below.


Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again

The Effects Of Rainforest Logging

Maybe C Wasn't The Right Answer

Take a look at this exam score on a True/False exam.

Read the comment from the professor below the image.

When Postal Workers Are Cold

Is burning mail really the best way to keep warm?

Frisking A Quadriplegic

The city of Pasadena is being sued by a quadriplegic man who claims he was pulled out of his chair by multiple police officers, hung him over a concrete wall, and then proceeded to search him.

Many, many questions arise from this situation...

What is so hard about frisking someone who cannot move their arms or legs?

Why do you need to frisk someone who does not have the use of their arms or legs? It's not like you're going to have a gun pulled on you.

Placing the man over a 4 foot wall?

And what exactly was this disturbance call that justified sending multiple officers to the house of a quadriplegic man, and felt that they needed to frisk him to secure the safety of the area?

Amazing Christmas Website

Click here to find out if it is Christmas yet.


www.isitchristmas.com

Some Honest Advertising From Denny's

Well at least they know who their target demographic is...

Colbert For President

October 16, 2007 will go down in the history books as the day that The Greatest Living American declared his candidacy for President of the United States.

Stephen Colbert announced his candidacy for both the Republican and Democrat parties, explaining that this would enable him to lose twice.

This is truly a great day for not only America, but the world.

For full coverage of this event, head on over to Comedy Central and watch the highlights from both the Daily Show and the Colbert Report.

It's Like Pulling Teeth

The spirit of MacGuyver has entered the world of British dentistry.

A new study suggests that people in Britain, desperate in the face of dentist shortages, have taken to some homemade dental solutions.


Techniques such as pulling their own teeth and supergluing crowns have become more common as the number of publicly available dentists in the country has declined.

Brushing everyday can solve alot of problems...

Taste Test Gone Horribly Wrong

Coke Or Pepsi?

Ever wondered who would win between Coke and Pepsi in a head-to-head matchup?

Well the debate is finally over. A Pepsi deliveryman in Pennsylvania knocked out his Coke counterpart recently. The two deliverymen got into an altercation at a local convenience store, with the Coke employe receiving three punches to the face, a black eye, and the knowledge that Coke may not be the Real Thing after all.

Pepsi vs Coke? Pepsi wins, only because it's tougher, meaner,and willing to fight dirty.

Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?

Found her!

Al Gore Is The Peaciest

Al Gore recently won the Nobel Peace Prize for his work on bringing attention to the problem of climate change.

Safe to say that it's all because he made a little movie called The Inconvenient Truth.

Also safe to say that Bono has been sedated and tied to a chair to prevent him from absolutely losing his mind.

Watch for U2's next album to be themed around African poverty, world peace, and kittens, With a shot of Mother Theresa and Nelson Mandela on the cover holding a small Cambodian orphan.

Who Doesn't Love Midgets?

Especially when they are German.

And laughing.


Laughing German Midget - Watch more free videos

More Than Meets The Eye

Halloween is upon us soon, and with that comes the inevitable dilemna about what your costume should look like.

This guy has taken his planning to a whole new level, and is documenting the construction of his Optimus Prime costume.

Amazing.

VOTE TODAY!

VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE

If you don't vote, don't complain!

Click here for information.

Election Speculation - From An Expert

Head on over to Scribbles, where the current Ontario Election is being discussed with some insightful commentary.

Or you can scroll down and look at dancing monkeys.

Your choice.

Can You Break A Million?

A man in Pittsburgh was recently jailed for attempting to use a fake $1,000,000 bill at a local supermarket.

A note to all readers out there - the editors at the DD have personally used $1,000,000 dollar bills without a problem, as recently as a month ago.

Obviously this guy is going to the wrong supermarket to buy his grandmother her groceries.

Riverdance.

Here's to dancing monkeys!

Of Naming Rights and Bank Machines

Last night the editorial board at the Daily Dyson took part in the insanity that has become the Toronto FC. No other field in Major League Soccer provides as much support for their home team as the fans at BMO field do.

But BMO field just doesn't give back.

How is it that in a stadium named after a bank, that there are only two bank machines in the entire facility. And when one of those machines is broken, the already underserviced area becomes like a third world country having a run on its currency.

30 minute line ups to get money for beer? The editorial board had to buy beers so that the wait in the lineup went by faster.

For a stadium that has more beer vendors than fans in the stadium, there sure is a lack of cash machines available. And when those beer vendors only accept cash, you have a problem.

Makes no sense.

None.

-End Rant-

Don't Hassle The Hoff!

Unless you need to wash your hands.

There Is A God!

Brace yourself.

Britney Spears has been ordered to surrender custody of her two sons to Hip Hop Megastar Kevin Federline, or as I like to call him, K-Fed.


The trainwreck that is Britney will now be able to continue her slow decline towards death without bringing her children with her.

...and she has a new album out November 13.

Exciting times!

Timing Comes With Age

Probably not the best time to feed the kangaroo...